The Co-Dependency Trap...

Last night, whilst doing my NightLine duty (NightLine is like a Samaritans type service for students, run by students...) i got to reading a book called The Co-Dependency Trap or something or other like that. NightLine has moved in with the student counselling service, so we now do the duties from their offices, hence why i was exposed to a shelf full of self help book crap in my hour of boredom...

Apparently, Co-Dependency is when a person does not complete their "psychological birth" which is supposed to occur in toddler-hood. (Psychological birth is the process of breaking away from the oneness with mother, and beginning to explore the world alone, whilst trusting that mother is still there if we need her...) This leads to them being unable to be a fully formed personality in their own right, and thus forming co-dependent relationships, where they rely on the other person to fulfill the missing aspects of their personality... This "affliction" supposedly affects around 98% of the American population.

My first thought was- "What a load of bollocks". Maybe i'm missing the point, but surely a degree of dependency is necessary to relationships? And life in general. No man is an island and all that. We need other people. Surely its a good thing when we have a relationship that makes us a better person? It can hardly be such an affliction if its affecting 98% of the population, can it? Are we all using our relationships as emotional crutches? Does noone form meaningful bonds with each other?

My second thought, upon reading on was- "Oh my god, i'm having a co-dependent relationship with The Boy!" I am pretty emotionally reliant upon him.

My tertiary thought was- "Actually no, this is bollocks." I am dependent on him, because i love him. I wouldn't like to think about living without him, but that doesn't mean i couldn't. I am perfectly capable of being a person in my own right thankyouverymuch.

Tsk. I hate stuff like that. Reading garbage like that is what gives people problems in the first place.

I'm not entirely sure i want to go and have counselling, if my head is going to be filled with rubbish like that. I can't imagine being told that all my relationships are unhealthy and meaningless is going to make me feel any better about myself.

Anyway.

Apart from gaining that nugget of wisdom, NightLine was a bit of a waste of time really. Since moving base, the phones haven't been sorted out properly, and so only the external phone works. Since the majority of our calls come through the internal line... there barely seems any point in being open. The only calls we got through the external line were from one of the banned callers, who just calls repeatedly to hurl abuse at us. I think he called about 30 times in the end...

I don't have much to do today. Meeting Joey tonight, but thats not for ages. Everyone on my corridor is still being hermit-like, which is a bit boring really.

Union on Friday was good fun. Introduced Ann to Amaretto :-)

Yawn.