Here Now.

Well. I'm here. And i'm feeling like shit, i can tell you.

The room is not so bad. Not quite so mouldy and vile as last time. It has actually been cleaned, and the mattress and carpet are devoid of suspicious looking stains... In preperation for the freshers i suppose.

I miss The Boy already. Like, fiercely achingly so. Bearing in mind, i only left him 5 hours ago, my level of emotional dependency upon him grows ever scarier. (Of course, stupid smooching couples on trains don't help!)

I really do not want to go to work tomorrow. This fortnight just seems to be a huge yawning chasm of never ending-ness in my mind... i simply cannot envisage the end point. It can't possibly be as bad as i'm imagining... i'm just in a really low place at the moment. All i want to do is cry and / crawl into bed and not get out for a year. I'm not quite sure why this experience is having such a bad effect on me, but its not a good feeling.

On a lighter note, Mum text me earlier to tell me i had a letter from the Inland Revenue. Containing a cheque with any luck! I'm undecided what to do with the money at the moment. I can either stick it in my current account and use it as needed this semester (which may or may not end in me spending the majority of it in Topshop...), i can whack it in my ISA, or i can pay off my credit card bill with it. Not my preferred choice, but probably the most sensible. Things stand to be very tight financially this year though, and this option would mean i had no further access to the money, and it would only save me around 70 quid in minimum payments until i graduate... plus theres always the danger that i will just end up whipping out the credit card when i'm (inevitably) skint , and running up the bill again anyway... which would make the whole exercise totally pointless. I'm not sure what my financial priorities should be right now... just getting through the year i suppose. Hmm. I will ask The Boy what he thinks.

Nearly finished Queen Camilla. Need to stop reading so fast, otherwise i'm going to rather bored for the next fortnight...

ARGH I love him and i miss him! (I'm so pathetic).

Think i'll go to bed, even though i'm not really tired.