Well, i got the job. Christ knows how, i'm certainly not the greatest interviewee ever. But whatever. I am now a trainee immunologist! 60 people applied for that job. 60! They interviewed about 20 i think. And they gave it to me. Me me meeee. Mwhahaha.
The lab itself is really big and specialised. A world away from the one in Stoke. Seems kind of quiet and serious though and the workforce is leaning towards the aged... not sure how well i will fit in, but hopefully it shouldn't be too bad. Its a step in the right direction, if nothing else.
The lab manager thinks i am still at uni (which i suppose technically i am...), so i have a month or so off to doss around now before i can start work. They have references and CRB checks to sort out though, so i don't feel too guilty about it.
I feel far too grown up.
This weekend i went down to London with The Boy and his awful, arrogant, crack snorting, binge drinking bands. The gig was good, but the company was strained so all in all not the best day. And the 14 hours travelling... not so good either. I detest travelling.
I have spent most of the weekend itching to get back to Daffyd. But now it comes to it i desperately miss The Boy.
We all know Facebastard rules the world, and The Boy's "relationship status" is now set as "single" which i guess makes things official.
I would like my old life back please.
Showing posts with label Biomedical Science. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Biomedical Science. Show all posts
Sunday, 18 May 2008
Wednesday, 14 May 2008
Summer is 'ere...
Wow so I have been pretty lax with my updating again… Not that anyone much cares, I suspect!
I have had a really lovely couple of days. After spending a week at home recovering from the post exam dissertation slog, I came back to uni for Joey’s birthday outing this Friday as promised. I have to admit I wasn’t much looking forward to going, but I ended up having an ace time. I was once again shamed for my frequent episodes of Jo related bitterness by Jo’s boyfriend Dave, who thanked me drunkenly and profusely for coming out, telling me “everyday I hear something about you Rach, I’m so glad she’s got you”.
Bless.
Woke up on Saturday morning feeling massively hungover and spent most of the day tarting around doing nothing in particular. The weather has been glorious for the past week or so, so on Saturday night Dave and Alex built the barbeque in a manly fashion and me, Katie and the majority of the residents of the PGCE block spent the evening eating burgers, drinking alcohol, playing football and just generally enjoying the nice weather. Oh, and talking about being teachers…. (not me and Katie though….)
On Sunday, Dave woke me up at some ungodly hour and we prepared food to go on a picnic. We spent the day at Trentham Gardens, eating, lounging around sunbathing, people watching etc. We had a really lovely time together. Shockingly.
I now have some rather fetching sunburn. Red and white and stripey, it’s a good look.
Monday was another impromptu barbeque, this time with Roo in attendance and yesterday Dave and I spent together doing nothing in particular again….
Anyway. I have now officially finished university. I successfully managed to write my dissertation and some other awful biochemistry literature review thing in five days, so as of the first of May 2008, everything was done and handed in. Finito. Woop. What an immense feeling of relief that was. Though naturally, me being me, the exuberance wore off very quickly, once I got bored of having nothing to do.
So now I have to join the real world. Which is upsetting to say the least. I have a job interview next Friday for an immunology post at a hospital not too far from home. Immunology isn’t microbiology, but it’s always been a toss up between the two disciplines to be fair. I would really really really like this job. So fingers crossed.
In less sensible news, I have no idea who my boyfriend is, and it seems unlikely that I ever will. The Boy and I have been apart for about six seven eight weeks… I don’t even know. Daffyd and I have been “seeing” each other pretty much the whole time since then. Things were a little rough at first and seemed much more difficult than they should have been. I at one point came to the conclusion that things weren’t going to work with him and was going to finish it. But in hindsight, it was a stressful time of exams and work and breaking up with people and rumours and gossiping and… yeah. Whatever. Things started being nice again, I was too much of a chicken to end things and so… it would appear we’re “in a relationship” as Facebastard would say. The thing is, The Boy is still desperate to try things again. I’m in two minds. When things were horrible with Daffyd, the temptation to go running back was immense. I would ring him and we would chat and it’d be nice. Whilst at home last week I spent a little time with him. Things were easy and comfortable and do-able, I suppose. But it doesn’t feel the same. I am terrified by the prospect of not loving him anymore.
There is only one actual solution to this problem, and that is to have neither of them. I am never going to decide who I want and it’s not even fair that I should be allowed to. I always want the one I’m not with and as a consequence am constantly flitting backwards and forwards between them, forming no meaningful commitment to either of them. Everytime I have a nice day with one, I decide upon them… until the next time I have a nice day with the other one… I have possibly managed to build myself the “perfect relationship”. The conversation, laughter and convenience of The Boy, and the sex, excitement and alternate convenience of Daffyd. Of course, if I truly liked either of them, I wouldn’t be able to behave this way, would I?
But being single is not an attractive option. In my head it is a fabulous meld of Sex and The City and Bridget Jones- all expensive shoes and drinking too much wine. But the harsh reality is that I have no friends, no job, no money, nowhere to live and family that annoy me. So…
Am tempted to give things a try with The Boy again. Three years is a long time and its not like I will have lost anything through trying (except Daffyd… but then is he really likely to be a forever thing anyway…?). If only I could make myself feel the way I felt about him just a few months ago. But then I have lovely days with Dave, and I think “this could work, it really could”
That is all.
I have had a really lovely couple of days. After spending a week at home recovering from the post exam dissertation slog, I came back to uni for Joey’s birthday outing this Friday as promised. I have to admit I wasn’t much looking forward to going, but I ended up having an ace time. I was once again shamed for my frequent episodes of Jo related bitterness by Jo’s boyfriend Dave, who thanked me drunkenly and profusely for coming out, telling me “everyday I hear something about you Rach, I’m so glad she’s got you”.
Bless.
Woke up on Saturday morning feeling massively hungover and spent most of the day tarting around doing nothing in particular. The weather has been glorious for the past week or so, so on Saturday night Dave and Alex built the barbeque in a manly fashion and me, Katie and the majority of the residents of the PGCE block spent the evening eating burgers, drinking alcohol, playing football and just generally enjoying the nice weather. Oh, and talking about being teachers…. (not me and Katie though….)
On Sunday, Dave woke me up at some ungodly hour and we prepared food to go on a picnic. We spent the day at Trentham Gardens, eating, lounging around sunbathing, people watching etc. We had a really lovely time together. Shockingly.
I now have some rather fetching sunburn. Red and white and stripey, it’s a good look.
Monday was another impromptu barbeque, this time with Roo in attendance and yesterday Dave and I spent together doing nothing in particular again….
Anyway. I have now officially finished university. I successfully managed to write my dissertation and some other awful biochemistry literature review thing in five days, so as of the first of May 2008, everything was done and handed in. Finito. Woop. What an immense feeling of relief that was. Though naturally, me being me, the exuberance wore off very quickly, once I got bored of having nothing to do.
So now I have to join the real world. Which is upsetting to say the least. I have a job interview next Friday for an immunology post at a hospital not too far from home. Immunology isn’t microbiology, but it’s always been a toss up between the two disciplines to be fair. I would really really really like this job. So fingers crossed.
In less sensible news, I have no idea who my boyfriend is, and it seems unlikely that I ever will. The Boy and I have been apart for about six seven eight weeks… I don’t even know. Daffyd and I have been “seeing” each other pretty much the whole time since then. Things were a little rough at first and seemed much more difficult than they should have been. I at one point came to the conclusion that things weren’t going to work with him and was going to finish it. But in hindsight, it was a stressful time of exams and work and breaking up with people and rumours and gossiping and… yeah. Whatever. Things started being nice again, I was too much of a chicken to end things and so… it would appear we’re “in a relationship” as Facebastard would say. The thing is, The Boy is still desperate to try things again. I’m in two minds. When things were horrible with Daffyd, the temptation to go running back was immense. I would ring him and we would chat and it’d be nice. Whilst at home last week I spent a little time with him. Things were easy and comfortable and do-able, I suppose. But it doesn’t feel the same. I am terrified by the prospect of not loving him anymore.
There is only one actual solution to this problem, and that is to have neither of them. I am never going to decide who I want and it’s not even fair that I should be allowed to. I always want the one I’m not with and as a consequence am constantly flitting backwards and forwards between them, forming no meaningful commitment to either of them. Everytime I have a nice day with one, I decide upon them… until the next time I have a nice day with the other one… I have possibly managed to build myself the “perfect relationship”. The conversation, laughter and convenience of The Boy, and the sex, excitement and alternate convenience of Daffyd. Of course, if I truly liked either of them, I wouldn’t be able to behave this way, would I?
But being single is not an attractive option. In my head it is a fabulous meld of Sex and The City and Bridget Jones- all expensive shoes and drinking too much wine. But the harsh reality is that I have no friends, no job, no money, nowhere to live and family that annoy me. So…
Am tempted to give things a try with The Boy again. Three years is a long time and its not like I will have lost anything through trying (except Daffyd… but then is he really likely to be a forever thing anyway…?). If only I could make myself feel the way I felt about him just a few months ago. But then I have lovely days with Dave, and I think “this could work, it really could”
That is all.
Tuesday, 4 March 2008
Stuff and Fings...
I am so unbelievably tired. Today, i've had to like, do stuff. Shocking.
I had lectures 9 til 1, and then in the afternoon my IBMS/ HPC registration portfolio was assessed... which took fucking ages. Four hours we had to sit in the undergrad room, pretending to do tutorial work and generally faffing around, while the examiners went through the portfolios sentence by sodding sentence apparently... Though i passed, in the end. So now i can be let loose in the NHS, whoop!
I am still agonising over the Daffyd situation. After our argument on Sunday in which he was incredibly rude and vicious towards me for no apparent reason, i decided i wasn't going to speak to him until he apologised. Despite my inherent obsessiveness, i managed to stand my ground. On Monday, he found a couple of really ridiculous reasons to text me. One nil to me i think. He was his usual infuriating self, acting as though nothing had happened, chattering away. I asked him if he was going to apologise, and he said no, basically. I had another rather nasty discussion, in which he proved what a nasty, manipulative, controlling and self righteous arsehole he is. He refuses to accept any responsibility for upsetting me, and doggedly insisted that the whole thing was my fault and just generally spent an hour implying how stupid and pathetic i was. I was so incredibly frustrated and upset with him, i couldn't even bear to argue with him any longer.
Today i went to Crewe to play a match and generally help coach with the korf beginners from the new C&N club that Roo has set up with a couple of people from Castle. I knew he was going to be there, but at the end of the day, Roo asked me to go, and i'm not going to hide away because of him. I was apprehensive. But he was just acting as though nothing had happened. Simultaneously good, as i didn't have the energy for another argument with him, and annoying, as he knows how much he has upset me this week, and doesn't even have the decency to make reference to it. He didn't invite me to his after, and i haven't made reference to it. I am disappointed, but i know i shouldn't be. It infuriates me that he isn't trying to be with me. I would take great pleasure in being able to cut him down. I sincerely hope he hasn't decided he is being sensible again, and thinks he is holding me at arms length until i get the message. If its over, its over because i say it is, because he is an arsehole, and i want him to know that. I know it shouldn't matter but it does. He thinks i am some needy clingy little bint who will keep running back to him, who he can just charm into bed when he feels like it, and who he can ignore when he pleases. Well i won't be. And he is going to know it.
(Now i just need to convince myself).
(I still miss him and want him. Clearly moreso now i think i can't have him)
God, i am such a fuckwit.
Sleep time i think.
I had lectures 9 til 1, and then in the afternoon my IBMS/ HPC registration portfolio was assessed... which took fucking ages. Four hours we had to sit in the undergrad room, pretending to do tutorial work and generally faffing around, while the examiners went through the portfolios sentence by sodding sentence apparently... Though i passed, in the end. So now i can be let loose in the NHS, whoop!
I am still agonising over the Daffyd situation. After our argument on Sunday in which he was incredibly rude and vicious towards me for no apparent reason, i decided i wasn't going to speak to him until he apologised. Despite my inherent obsessiveness, i managed to stand my ground. On Monday, he found a couple of really ridiculous reasons to text me. One nil to me i think. He was his usual infuriating self, acting as though nothing had happened, chattering away. I asked him if he was going to apologise, and he said no, basically. I had another rather nasty discussion, in which he proved what a nasty, manipulative, controlling and self righteous arsehole he is. He refuses to accept any responsibility for upsetting me, and doggedly insisted that the whole thing was my fault and just generally spent an hour implying how stupid and pathetic i was. I was so incredibly frustrated and upset with him, i couldn't even bear to argue with him any longer.
Today i went to Crewe to play a match and generally help coach with the korf beginners from the new C&N club that Roo has set up with a couple of people from Castle. I knew he was going to be there, but at the end of the day, Roo asked me to go, and i'm not going to hide away because of him. I was apprehensive. But he was just acting as though nothing had happened. Simultaneously good, as i didn't have the energy for another argument with him, and annoying, as he knows how much he has upset me this week, and doesn't even have the decency to make reference to it. He didn't invite me to his after, and i haven't made reference to it. I am disappointed, but i know i shouldn't be. It infuriates me that he isn't trying to be with me. I would take great pleasure in being able to cut him down. I sincerely hope he hasn't decided he is being sensible again, and thinks he is holding me at arms length until i get the message. If its over, its over because i say it is, because he is an arsehole, and i want him to know that. I know it shouldn't matter but it does. He thinks i am some needy clingy little bint who will keep running back to him, who he can just charm into bed when he feels like it, and who he can ignore when he pleases. Well i won't be. And he is going to know it.
(Now i just need to convince myself).
(I still miss him and want him. Clearly moreso now i think i can't have him)
God, i am such a fuckwit.
Sleep time i think.
Friday, 15 February 2008
Make a note, i am in a good mood!
And it doesn't happen very often!
Got my Clinical Pathology exam result back today... 90 fucking percent- whoop! Not too shabby, especially since i only did three days revision for it!
The Neuroscience ones are not out yet. They are being remarked externally as Knobface head of the module gave out such harsh marks for the essay (though not mine...)and people were complaining about him. I did three weeks revision for that one, but i'm not holding out for an amazing result particularly.
On Wednesday night i received a highly inappropriate Valentine's gift from an even more inappropriate source. So i guess you could say, being sensible isn't working out that well.
And now maybe i should be wallowing in guilt and shame and self loathing. But i'm not particularly. So fuck off.
Got my Clinical Pathology exam result back today... 90 fucking percent- whoop! Not too shabby, especially since i only did three days revision for it!
The Neuroscience ones are not out yet. They are being remarked externally as Knobface head of the module gave out such harsh marks for the essay (though not mine...)and people were complaining about him. I did three weeks revision for that one, but i'm not holding out for an amazing result particularly.
On Wednesday night i received a highly inappropriate Valentine's gift from an even more inappropriate source. So i guess you could say, being sensible isn't working out that well.
And now maybe i should be wallowing in guilt and shame and self loathing. But i'm not particularly. So fuck off.
Friday, 1 February 2008
Oh holy mongoose!
Its February!
My projects are due in on the 13th of March, which is in 6 weeks...
The last time i checked, the 13th of March was about 5 months away!
Bugger.
I went to the doctor today about my poor stomach. He seemed unimpressed. It appears i may not have AIDs/ cholera/ noravirus/ concealed pregnancy... as previously suspected.
The Boy is annoying me. He is sulking because i told him off for not going into work again today- apparently the tendonitis in his groin is playing him up. Something about his current workplace makes him a little bipolar, one minute he loves it, the next minute he hates it and wants to leave. He is currently in a hating phase. The company however, adore him, and are pretty keen to promote him to management. I think the shop had a bad week last week and now his manager is taking it out on him. He has been accused of taking a step backwards recently, which presumably means his promotion is drifting out of view... Being off "ill" constantly (i.e. twice a month) isn't going to be helping his case. He has an awful track record of never staying in a job longer than a couple of years maximum; something always seems to go wrong and he is "forced out". I have always been sympathetic in the past, but it has been in the back of my mind that as the only common denominator, perhaps the problem lay with him. Surely its going to get to a point where noone wants to employ him? But i'm a nice, supportive girlfriend, so i never said. I'm thinking it again now though.
I could be incredibly premature and bunny boiler-esque and say: "Oh my god, how is a man who can't keep a job for five minutes going to support me and our children for the rest of our lives!?"
But i'm not. So i won't...
My projects are due in on the 13th of March, which is in 6 weeks...
The last time i checked, the 13th of March was about 5 months away!
Bugger.
I went to the doctor today about my poor stomach. He seemed unimpressed. It appears i may not have AIDs/ cholera/ noravirus/ concealed pregnancy... as previously suspected.
The Boy is annoying me. He is sulking because i told him off for not going into work again today- apparently the tendonitis in his groin is playing him up. Something about his current workplace makes him a little bipolar, one minute he loves it, the next minute he hates it and wants to leave. He is currently in a hating phase. The company however, adore him, and are pretty keen to promote him to management. I think the shop had a bad week last week and now his manager is taking it out on him. He has been accused of taking a step backwards recently, which presumably means his promotion is drifting out of view... Being off "ill" constantly (i.e. twice a month) isn't going to be helping his case. He has an awful track record of never staying in a job longer than a couple of years maximum; something always seems to go wrong and he is "forced out". I have always been sympathetic in the past, but it has been in the back of my mind that as the only common denominator, perhaps the problem lay with him. Surely its going to get to a point where noone wants to employ him? But i'm a nice, supportive girlfriend, so i never said. I'm thinking it again now though.
I could be incredibly premature and bunny boiler-esque and say: "Oh my god, how is a man who can't keep a job for five minutes going to support me and our children for the rest of our lives!?"
But i'm not. So i won't...
Tuesday, 29 January 2008
Bleeurgh
Good God i feel poorly. I swear i have been feeling sick for about six weeks now. I hate being me. (And no, i'm not up the spout, before anyone says anything).
I think i am just going to give up eating. I am clearly allergic to it.
Happily, i didn't get the Vomit-y dissertation title. Mine is about Anorexia Nervosa, which should be interesting.
I'm stuck with my Non-experimental project. Which naturally means i am pratting about on the internet waiting for some divine intervention, rather than actually working on it. I'm not stuck as such. I just have too much information in too many different papers, and keep forgetting what i read and where i read it and having to go through all the papers over and over and over... I could just make notes on the damn things but that would be far too sensible. My brain is in no mood to be making logical sense of things right now.
I just wanted to moan really.
I think i am just going to give up eating. I am clearly allergic to it.
Happily, i didn't get the Vomit-y dissertation title. Mine is about Anorexia Nervosa, which should be interesting.
I'm stuck with my Non-experimental project. Which naturally means i am pratting about on the internet waiting for some divine intervention, rather than actually working on it. I'm not stuck as such. I just have too much information in too many different papers, and keep forgetting what i read and where i read it and having to go through all the papers over and over and over... I could just make notes on the damn things but that would be far too sensible. My brain is in no mood to be making logical sense of things right now.
I just wanted to moan really.
Friday, 25 January 2008
In other news...
I have had a very busy and productive first week back. Well busy by my standards, not by a normal person's...
I have had lectures and tutorials and project meetings... I have revised my opinion on GH slightly. He is still incredibly annoying and ineffectual, but the levels of hatred towards him have subsided a little, and i am feeling less stressed out about the whole lack of meaningful project results thing. The general opininon is that rubbish results means lots of things to moan about in the discussion section. So i guess i'll have to go with that.
I have finished my registration portfolio and handed it in. I don't care if GH wants me to do anything else to it now, quite frankly i never want to see the damn thing again.
I have started writing my non-experimental project! Its coming along quite nicely so far, although i am quite blatantly going to max out the word count...
I have chosen my dissertation titles and handed in the request form. I doubt there was much point in bothering, since the usual favourites will get their first choices and the rest of us (i.e. me) will end up with the crap that is left. Though to be fair, there wasn't an awful lot to go on to begin with... I give you Exhibit A:
Vomiting- A valuable defence, or just an irritating symptom of disease?
I ask you. Who the hell wants to write five thousand words about vomit? Oh the joys of Biomedical Science.
I bet i get that one. I bet you.
The Boy is coming down tomorrow! I can't wait. Birthday Celebrations Mark Two are occuring tomorrow night. Boy, Katie, Maz, Ann, Dave, Joey and me are going for a curry in Newcastle. I am really looking forward to it. I think this is the first time in about three years that i have organised something and people have actually bothered to come. Maz is down from Manchester for the weekend and is staying with Gill. Hence i am recieving substantial guilt trip from her about not inviting Gill to come too. I admit it is a little awkward for her, but i'll be damned if i'm going to invite Gill when can't fucking stand her! Plus if she came then the whole sorry Korfing Crew would have to come. And then i would have to drown myself in a Korma or something.
They are such hypocrites. They never bloody invite me anywhere (not that i'm bothered, i wouldn't go because i can't stand them... but thats not the point!) I could drop down dead in my room and not be seen for weeks and Phil and Mike wouldn't notice. And Gill and Fake-Cough are just plain ignorant. I don't know how Gill has the cheek to expect to be coming. But anyhow...
I korfed tonight. Only for an hour, thankfully. Exercising was a bit of a culture shock after all the time off i've had. During training, i managed to bang my head twice, doing exactly the same thing both times... As if i didn't feel bad enough already... I think i am probably concussed now...
Mum is nagging about when i am going home again already. Which confuses me slightly, since she never seems that interested when i am there. Sigh.
I don't really have anything interesting to say, so i'm going to stop now.
I have had lectures and tutorials and project meetings... I have revised my opinion on GH slightly. He is still incredibly annoying and ineffectual, but the levels of hatred towards him have subsided a little, and i am feeling less stressed out about the whole lack of meaningful project results thing. The general opininon is that rubbish results means lots of things to moan about in the discussion section. So i guess i'll have to go with that.
I have finished my registration portfolio and handed it in. I don't care if GH wants me to do anything else to it now, quite frankly i never want to see the damn thing again.
I have started writing my non-experimental project! Its coming along quite nicely so far, although i am quite blatantly going to max out the word count...
I have chosen my dissertation titles and handed in the request form. I doubt there was much point in bothering, since the usual favourites will get their first choices and the rest of us (i.e. me) will end up with the crap that is left. Though to be fair, there wasn't an awful lot to go on to begin with... I give you Exhibit A:
Vomiting- A valuable defence, or just an irritating symptom of disease?
I ask you. Who the hell wants to write five thousand words about vomit? Oh the joys of Biomedical Science.
I bet i get that one. I bet you.
The Boy is coming down tomorrow! I can't wait. Birthday Celebrations Mark Two are occuring tomorrow night. Boy, Katie, Maz, Ann, Dave, Joey and me are going for a curry in Newcastle. I am really looking forward to it. I think this is the first time in about three years that i have organised something and people have actually bothered to come. Maz is down from Manchester for the weekend and is staying with Gill. Hence i am recieving substantial guilt trip from her about not inviting Gill to come too. I admit it is a little awkward for her, but i'll be damned if i'm going to invite Gill when can't fucking stand her! Plus if she came then the whole sorry Korfing Crew would have to come. And then i would have to drown myself in a Korma or something.
They are such hypocrites. They never bloody invite me anywhere (not that i'm bothered, i wouldn't go because i can't stand them... but thats not the point!) I could drop down dead in my room and not be seen for weeks and Phil and Mike wouldn't notice. And Gill and Fake-Cough are just plain ignorant. I don't know how Gill has the cheek to expect to be coming. But anyhow...
I korfed tonight. Only for an hour, thankfully. Exercising was a bit of a culture shock after all the time off i've had. During training, i managed to bang my head twice, doing exactly the same thing both times... As if i didn't feel bad enough already... I think i am probably concussed now...
Mum is nagging about when i am going home again already. Which confuses me slightly, since she never seems that interested when i am there. Sigh.
I don't really have anything interesting to say, so i'm going to stop now.
Wednesday, 9 January 2008
Yawn...
I'm so tired! I am giving myself a well earned break from revision. Well, i say well earned, but perhaps if i hadn't waited until Monday night to start revising for my exam on Thursday... i wouldn't have had to work quite so flat out. Oh well.
The exam on Monday went reasonably well. The amount of work i put into it, i ought to have done brilliantly well. But i just can't tell with them being essay questions. I know i wrote at least one dumb thing- i got ataxia and agnosia mixed up and wrote that Alzheimer's sufferers show ataxia. I couldn't even know what ataxia means... though i thought it was right at the time. Anyway, i wikipedia-ed it, and, well, Alzheimer's patients really don't have ataxia. Nobface Head of Module will be marking it as well, which doesn't roll in my favour. Oh well. I'm sure i've done enough to pass, which is the main thing i suppose.
I picked my essay marks up yesterday as well. I got 68% in the Neuroscience one, which is fine, particularly since apparently we were all meant to have failed it... I got 65% in my Clinical pathology essay, which is fine as well i suppose. I'm pretty disappointed with that to be honest. When i was writing it, it sounded really good. I did a shit pile of research for it and i honestly thought it was the best thing i'd ever written, despite the incredibly dry subject matter. Plus, i just happened to notice... that someone much stupider and much less conscientious than me (and who i particularly dislike) got 75%. Which seems pretty unlikely. But i suppose that just serves me right for being nosey...
I think, the transition between second and third year is a lot steeper than i previously imagined. Without wanting to sound big-headed, in previous years i've never found it particularly difficult to do well and get firsts in essays and exams, without making any special effort. But this semester it seems as though i have been working my hardest and not coming out with anything spectacular. I'm not going to be 2:1 snob... but i suppose i'm kind of half hoping/expecting to get a first. I know the result is not the be all and end all of getting a degree, and that after i get my first job, noone will much care what degree classification i got. But it would just be nice. I'm not good at much. I'm not good at people and friends and socialising. I'm not good at sport. I'm not a particularly good daughter or girlfriend.I don't even look that good. But I am good at Academia. I can be clever and learn things and get good results. I can impress people and please my parents and feel good about myself that way. I feel like this first expected of me now, which is incredibly pressurising. Maybe i'm just not as clever as i think. Maybe i'm just being a twat. Who knows.
Last exam tomorrow anyway, which is something to look forward to. I am doing strategic revision, so i hope to God it pays off, or i am royally screwed. I'm about past caring at the moment.
Anyway, i was meant to be catching up. Being at home is lovely, but there is no real scope for private computer time. Hence the lack of blogginess. The basic gist is like so:
. I went home
. I watched a lot of TV
. I ate a lot of food (Actually, i ate a lot of junk food. Actually, i ate a lot of chocolate. My skin is being most unforgiving)
. I spent a lot of time with the boy. He spent Christmas day at mine, which was lovely
. I spent not quite enough time at home, and thus spent a lot of time feeling guilty about that
. My sisters annoyed me for various reasons
. I did a bit of revision (With emphasis on the "bit", hence the shit-creek type situation occurring currently)
. I was good and socialised, with Sarah, Beth, Sally and Caz! Four whole people!
And there you have it. Three fun packed weeks in the life of me!
Now i am back in this hole of mediocrity. Not for long however. Mwhahaha.
The exam on Monday went reasonably well. The amount of work i put into it, i ought to have done brilliantly well. But i just can't tell with them being essay questions. I know i wrote at least one dumb thing- i got ataxia and agnosia mixed up and wrote that Alzheimer's sufferers show ataxia. I couldn't even know what ataxia means... though i thought it was right at the time. Anyway, i wikipedia-ed it, and, well, Alzheimer's patients really don't have ataxia. Nobface Head of Module will be marking it as well, which doesn't roll in my favour. Oh well. I'm sure i've done enough to pass, which is the main thing i suppose.
I picked my essay marks up yesterday as well. I got 68% in the Neuroscience one, which is fine, particularly since apparently we were all meant to have failed it... I got 65% in my Clinical pathology essay, which is fine as well i suppose. I'm pretty disappointed with that to be honest. When i was writing it, it sounded really good. I did a shit pile of research for it and i honestly thought it was the best thing i'd ever written, despite the incredibly dry subject matter. Plus, i just happened to notice... that someone much stupider and much less conscientious than me (and who i particularly dislike) got 75%. Which seems pretty unlikely. But i suppose that just serves me right for being nosey...
I think, the transition between second and third year is a lot steeper than i previously imagined. Without wanting to sound big-headed, in previous years i've never found it particularly difficult to do well and get firsts in essays and exams, without making any special effort. But this semester it seems as though i have been working my hardest and not coming out with anything spectacular. I'm not going to be 2:1 snob... but i suppose i'm kind of half hoping/expecting to get a first. I know the result is not the be all and end all of getting a degree, and that after i get my first job, noone will much care what degree classification i got. But it would just be nice. I'm not good at much. I'm not good at people and friends and socialising. I'm not good at sport. I'm not a particularly good daughter or girlfriend.I don't even look that good. But I am good at Academia. I can be clever and learn things and get good results. I can impress people and please my parents and feel good about myself that way. I feel like this first expected of me now, which is incredibly pressurising. Maybe i'm just not as clever as i think. Maybe i'm just being a twat. Who knows.
Last exam tomorrow anyway, which is something to look forward to. I am doing strategic revision, so i hope to God it pays off, or i am royally screwed. I'm about past caring at the moment.
Anyway, i was meant to be catching up. Being at home is lovely, but there is no real scope for private computer time. Hence the lack of blogginess. The basic gist is like so:
. I went home
. I watched a lot of TV
. I ate a lot of food (Actually, i ate a lot of junk food. Actually, i ate a lot of chocolate. My skin is being most unforgiving)
. I spent a lot of time with the boy. He spent Christmas day at mine, which was lovely
. I spent not quite enough time at home, and thus spent a lot of time feeling guilty about that
. My sisters annoyed me for various reasons
. I did a bit of revision (With emphasis on the "bit", hence the shit-creek type situation occurring currently)
. I was good and socialised, with Sarah, Beth, Sally and Caz! Four whole people!
And there you have it. Three fun packed weeks in the life of me!
Now i am back in this hole of mediocrity. Not for long however. Mwhahaha.
Thursday, 1 November 2007
Meeeeurrrgh...
I've just polished off an enormous slab of chocolate cake... and its only 11.30am... whoopsy!
I feel quite sick now...
Boy has left already :( I hate these midweek visits, when it seems as though he's barely arrived when he has to go back again for work.
It was lovely tho. We had nice sex and everything. Yay.
I am so unbelievably tired today. The Boy is a little on the large side... so me plus him plus single bed doesn't make for the most restful of sleeps. Plus Phil and Mike went out last night, and brought back Gill and Becca at midnight, so they were sat up talking until about 2am. The walls here are so bloody paper thin, i could hear every word they were saying... Its not what i pay a grand a semester for, i can tell you! They were bitching about Korfball, typically. Becca was being her usual know-it-all self, even though when she's on the pitch, she seems to lack any basic tactical understanding of the game... not that anyone mentions it since she's shagging the Vice-Captain... The first match of the season is on Sunday, and Gill has already picked the team. Charlie, our "first team captain", is not actually on the team. I'm not entirely sure she knows about it yet either... so training will be interesting tonight...
Have a meeting with Glenn shortly, in which i feel sure he is going to pull my project introduction to pieces, and i will cry or something. I went into the hospital on Tuesday for one sample. One whole sample. Remarkable eh.
There is a girl working in the specimen reception at the hospital who i was chatting to on Tuesday. She graduated in Biomedical Science this year from Keele. She has a registration portfolio which she took a year out to do. And she is working in specimen reception... sticking labels on bottles... because there are no trainee BMS posts anywhere. This doesn't fill me confidence about my future prospects. In fact, it pretty much makes me want to throw myself on the floor and cry and scream until i vomit. But hey ho.
True to my father's advice ("Well, just finish your degree, then find a field where there are lots of jobs... and do a degree in that instead!"- Sound advice, if i was planning on entering The Guinness Book of Records with an entry for the world's largest student debt...) i'm thinking of applying to do Medicine sometime in the near future, rather than going into Biomedical Science for a few years first. I'm not sure i have what it takes to be a doctor, but i suppose i'll never know unless i try. Though the prospect of putting my life on hold for the next 10 years, isn't something i relish particularly.
Anyway. More later.
I feel quite sick now...
Boy has left already :( I hate these midweek visits, when it seems as though he's barely arrived when he has to go back again for work.
It was lovely tho. We had nice sex and everything. Yay.
I am so unbelievably tired today. The Boy is a little on the large side... so me plus him plus single bed doesn't make for the most restful of sleeps. Plus Phil and Mike went out last night, and brought back Gill and Becca at midnight, so they were sat up talking until about 2am. The walls here are so bloody paper thin, i could hear every word they were saying... Its not what i pay a grand a semester for, i can tell you! They were bitching about Korfball, typically. Becca was being her usual know-it-all self, even though when she's on the pitch, she seems to lack any basic tactical understanding of the game... not that anyone mentions it since she's shagging the Vice-Captain... The first match of the season is on Sunday, and Gill has already picked the team. Charlie, our "first team captain", is not actually on the team. I'm not entirely sure she knows about it yet either... so training will be interesting tonight...
Have a meeting with Glenn shortly, in which i feel sure he is going to pull my project introduction to pieces, and i will cry or something. I went into the hospital on Tuesday for one sample. One whole sample. Remarkable eh.
There is a girl working in the specimen reception at the hospital who i was chatting to on Tuesday. She graduated in Biomedical Science this year from Keele. She has a registration portfolio which she took a year out to do. And she is working in specimen reception... sticking labels on bottles... because there are no trainee BMS posts anywhere. This doesn't fill me confidence about my future prospects. In fact, it pretty much makes me want to throw myself on the floor and cry and scream until i vomit. But hey ho.
True to my father's advice ("Well, just finish your degree, then find a field where there are lots of jobs... and do a degree in that instead!"- Sound advice, if i was planning on entering The Guinness Book of Records with an entry for the world's largest student debt...) i'm thinking of applying to do Medicine sometime in the near future, rather than going into Biomedical Science for a few years first. I'm not sure i have what it takes to be a doctor, but i suppose i'll never know unless i try. Though the prospect of putting my life on hold for the next 10 years, isn't something i relish particularly.
Anyway. More later.
Wednesday, 24 October 2007
Irritated...
I really need to start thinking of more imaginative titles for my posts...
The internet is being exceptionally slow and shit today, which is pissing me off.
Yesterday i went in to the hospital to discover that there were no samples for me again. Which i am less than impressed by. Its not even as if there literally were no patients to take samples from- i spent a couple of hours in specimen reception this week and last week, and saw at least four serum amylase requests each time. At a rate of four every two hours, i could complete the whole bloody trial in one day, instead of stretching it out over the whole semester... If anyone ever bothers sending the urine samples that is... Its not as though its something i'm putting them out for either! The consultant in A&E wanted this trial doing! Yargh. I refused to spend six hours at the hospital doing nothing, so i came home at about half 11, and futzed around for the rest of the day. Joey and I had drinks and a long chat at The Orange Tree in the evening.
Spoke to Abbie briefly on MSN last night, and she seemed happy enough, having spent the day with her friends. I can't imagine Mum was very happy about her being out with Kayleigh-The-Bad-Influence again, but i am glad she is taking the psychologists advice at least.
Still in a confuddled state about the whole thing. I spent most of the day with her on Monday, shopping and chatting. Bullied her into eating some chips. Mum said she seemed a lot brighter afterwards. I should spend more time with her. Guilt...
I miss The Boy a lot. The weekend was rather strange and disjointed, and so we didn't really get to spend as much time solidly together as i would have liked. Half of the time we did spend together we spent arguing. Or me crying, and us not having sex. To be fair, i haven't exactly been difficult to upset/ annoy recently on account of my increasing stress levels... I shouldn't have taken it out on him.
(He did start an argument with me in the middle of an Indian restaurant about M however, which he fully deserved to be shouted at about... but thats a whole other blog entry...)
Saw a lot of Dad and Maddie this weekend, which was nice. I hardly ever get to see them, which is a bit rubbish. I should make more effort really.
I totally buggered up my budget this weekend also, by "accidentally" spending 50 quid on Elle McPherson underwear, and then since i was in the swing of shopping and had already made a mess of the finances, i bought a jumper from Topshop as well. I was doing so well as well. Sigh.
It is exceptionally nice underwear though. And i never usually have expensive underwear.
I might take the jumper back. I haven't decided yet. Its sitting in the wardrobe, awaiting its fate.
I shop to make me feel better about myself, but then always end up feeling worse with the guilt. Is that an addiction? I don't know.
I need to go to my meeting with my dissertation tutor woman now. She insists on me seeing her every week, but since i'm only in the research stage and i don't really know where she wants me to take the thing, i never have any idea what she wants to talk about. The complement system is infintely boring. Methinks i should have chosen my title more carefully...
The internet is being exceptionally slow and shit today, which is pissing me off.
Yesterday i went in to the hospital to discover that there were no samples for me again. Which i am less than impressed by. Its not even as if there literally were no patients to take samples from- i spent a couple of hours in specimen reception this week and last week, and saw at least four serum amylase requests each time. At a rate of four every two hours, i could complete the whole bloody trial in one day, instead of stretching it out over the whole semester... If anyone ever bothers sending the urine samples that is... Its not as though its something i'm putting them out for either! The consultant in A&E wanted this trial doing! Yargh. I refused to spend six hours at the hospital doing nothing, so i came home at about half 11, and futzed around for the rest of the day. Joey and I had drinks and a long chat at The Orange Tree in the evening.
Spoke to Abbie briefly on MSN last night, and she seemed happy enough, having spent the day with her friends. I can't imagine Mum was very happy about her being out with Kayleigh-The-Bad-Influence again, but i am glad she is taking the psychologists advice at least.
Still in a confuddled state about the whole thing. I spent most of the day with her on Monday, shopping and chatting. Bullied her into eating some chips. Mum said she seemed a lot brighter afterwards. I should spend more time with her. Guilt...
I miss The Boy a lot. The weekend was rather strange and disjointed, and so we didn't really get to spend as much time solidly together as i would have liked. Half of the time we did spend together we spent arguing. Or me crying, and us not having sex. To be fair, i haven't exactly been difficult to upset/ annoy recently on account of my increasing stress levels... I shouldn't have taken it out on him.
(He did start an argument with me in the middle of an Indian restaurant about M however, which he fully deserved to be shouted at about... but thats a whole other blog entry...)
Saw a lot of Dad and Maddie this weekend, which was nice. I hardly ever get to see them, which is a bit rubbish. I should make more effort really.
I totally buggered up my budget this weekend also, by "accidentally" spending 50 quid on Elle McPherson underwear, and then since i was in the swing of shopping and had already made a mess of the finances, i bought a jumper from Topshop as well. I was doing so well as well. Sigh.
It is exceptionally nice underwear though. And i never usually have expensive underwear.
I might take the jumper back. I haven't decided yet. Its sitting in the wardrobe, awaiting its fate.
I shop to make me feel better about myself, but then always end up feeling worse with the guilt. Is that an addiction? I don't know.
I need to go to my meeting with my dissertation tutor woman now. She insists on me seeing her every week, but since i'm only in the research stage and i don't really know where she wants me to take the thing, i never have any idea what she wants to talk about. The complement system is infintely boring. Methinks i should have chosen my title more carefully...
Tuesday, 2 October 2007
Dying...
Just finished dying my hair. It is now one lovely chocolatey brown colour, as opposed to the previous three (blonde/ faded chestnutty brown/ dark brown). It looked pretty shocking, i can tell you.
Today i didn't wake up until one o'clock, and since its my day off i have bugger all to do. I'm really quite bored and blatantly not going to get any sleep tonight... I have a nine o'clock tomorrow though, so getting up for that will hopefully reset my sleep clock thingy. Its in the morgue in the medical school, chopping up brains, which should be excellent! My project tutors finally got round to replying to my emails this morning as well, so i suppose i could do some project type reseach today in preperation for our meeting. It might help if i actually had something intelligent to say for once.
Last night was the first Korfball social of the year. Not a particularly successful one either. Only two of the new people who came to training on Thursday turned up, and since one of them is already friends with two fifths of the committee and fairly outgoing anyway, it didn't really make life very easy for the other guy who is a Fresher, and very shy. We spent most of the evening playing "I have never" which got pretty dull after about half a second since all the questions were about sex... Gill was getting on my tits as well. She's so fucking moody, i can't tell whether she likes me from one minute to the next. Although there's no reason why she shouldn't. I spent most of the evening forcing myself to laugh, which gets pretty tiring after a while, and trying valiantly to make conversation with Becca, who has all the personality of a half defrosted fish finger... and Gill, who just blows hot and cold with me, as i said.
I think there's every possibility that Keele Korfball may fold this year, not so much because we barely have a team, but because as a committe, we don't know each other particularly well or get on that amazingly. Gill and Phil, the captain and vice captain have known each other for the longest and so they're ok. Gill is a moody cow as i said. Phil is ok i suppose, but damned hard work to talk to. Becca the social sec is nice enough, but there's something about her thats incredibly strange, and i just can't place it. Plus she's Phil's girlfriend. Charlie the "first team captain" (i say "first team captain" rather than first team captain, since she only got the position because there was noone else to do it, and she can barely play...) is a knob. Everyone hates Charlie. Which is a little unfortunate. I can't imagine that all the time we are going to have to spend in socials and at tournaments is going to fly by... Though i suppose its early days.
After the "social" i went into the Union for Manic Mondays with Katie and Roo, which has gone all indie and weird for some reason. Katie was flirting outrageously with half of Roo's male housemates, despite spending two thirds of her time since she got here telling us all how amazing her new boyfriend is... so me and Roo got bored, gave it up as a bad job and went back to hers for a cup of tea and a gossip/ bitch. It was nice to have her to myself again for a little while. Katie's lovely but she can be hard work.
God, i just bitch about everyone. I'm so going to hell.
One of the guys who lives in the corridor came out with us last night, and he seems really funny. Even though he does hide in his room all the time.
Ann rang me on Sunday night in tears, to tell me her mother is an alcoholic, who's spent the past three years dumping on her and that she had just sent her an email telling her she never wanted to speak to her again... and would i come over... I felt a little bad telling her that i'd had arranged to meet Joey weeks ago and that i was going to the pub... I went over to hers after finishing with Jo though. We chatted for a few hours about stuff. She told me a lot of quite personal things i didn't know, and i felt really bad for her. I'm such a bad counsellor... She said it helped though. I feel a little strange about it all though. I barely know her, and quite why i would be the first person she rings in a crisis is beyond me. She must have closer friends than me, surely. I know she thinks of herself as really unsociable and that she doesn't have a huge amount of friends... but still. I found it hard to feel hugely guilty about not cancelling my plans and rushing immediately to her aid, when we are hardly even friends... I am enjoying getting to know her better and spending more time with her, but its all just a bit much. She wanted us to go out for a meal tonight, just the two of us. Not feeling too confident that i could stretch out a conversation with her for that long, i made some excuse about money. Guilt again though. She's latched on to me good and proper.
Jo and Dave had a really bad argument on Saturday night. I'm ashamed to say that it makes me feel better about myself that they did. Sometimes Jo is so bloody perfect with her brazillian waxes, stylish clothes and grown up relationship, that i want to explode with jealous rage... But it certainly seems as though the Jo and Dave bubble is about to burst, from what she told me on Sunday night. I hope they work it out though. They are a good couple. And i do love Jo, beyond the life-envy...
In less bitchy-moany news- The Boy is coming down on Tuesday! Woohoo! I can't wait.
Today i didn't wake up until one o'clock, and since its my day off i have bugger all to do. I'm really quite bored and blatantly not going to get any sleep tonight... I have a nine o'clock tomorrow though, so getting up for that will hopefully reset my sleep clock thingy. Its in the morgue in the medical school, chopping up brains, which should be excellent! My project tutors finally got round to replying to my emails this morning as well, so i suppose i could do some project type reseach today in preperation for our meeting. It might help if i actually had something intelligent to say for once.
Last night was the first Korfball social of the year. Not a particularly successful one either. Only two of the new people who came to training on Thursday turned up, and since one of them is already friends with two fifths of the committee and fairly outgoing anyway, it didn't really make life very easy for the other guy who is a Fresher, and very shy. We spent most of the evening playing "I have never" which got pretty dull after about half a second since all the questions were about sex... Gill was getting on my tits as well. She's so fucking moody, i can't tell whether she likes me from one minute to the next. Although there's no reason why she shouldn't. I spent most of the evening forcing myself to laugh, which gets pretty tiring after a while, and trying valiantly to make conversation with Becca, who has all the personality of a half defrosted fish finger... and Gill, who just blows hot and cold with me, as i said.
I think there's every possibility that Keele Korfball may fold this year, not so much because we barely have a team, but because as a committe, we don't know each other particularly well or get on that amazingly. Gill and Phil, the captain and vice captain have known each other for the longest and so they're ok. Gill is a moody cow as i said. Phil is ok i suppose, but damned hard work to talk to. Becca the social sec is nice enough, but there's something about her thats incredibly strange, and i just can't place it. Plus she's Phil's girlfriend. Charlie the "first team captain" (i say "first team captain" rather than first team captain, since she only got the position because there was noone else to do it, and she can barely play...) is a knob. Everyone hates Charlie. Which is a little unfortunate. I can't imagine that all the time we are going to have to spend in socials and at tournaments is going to fly by... Though i suppose its early days.
After the "social" i went into the Union for Manic Mondays with Katie and Roo, which has gone all indie and weird for some reason. Katie was flirting outrageously with half of Roo's male housemates, despite spending two thirds of her time since she got here telling us all how amazing her new boyfriend is... so me and Roo got bored, gave it up as a bad job and went back to hers for a cup of tea and a gossip/ bitch. It was nice to have her to myself again for a little while. Katie's lovely but she can be hard work.
God, i just bitch about everyone. I'm so going to hell.
One of the guys who lives in the corridor came out with us last night, and he seems really funny. Even though he does hide in his room all the time.
Ann rang me on Sunday night in tears, to tell me her mother is an alcoholic, who's spent the past three years dumping on her and that she had just sent her an email telling her she never wanted to speak to her again... and would i come over... I felt a little bad telling her that i'd had arranged to meet Joey weeks ago and that i was going to the pub... I went over to hers after finishing with Jo though. We chatted for a few hours about stuff. She told me a lot of quite personal things i didn't know, and i felt really bad for her. I'm such a bad counsellor... She said it helped though. I feel a little strange about it all though. I barely know her, and quite why i would be the first person she rings in a crisis is beyond me. She must have closer friends than me, surely. I know she thinks of herself as really unsociable and that she doesn't have a huge amount of friends... but still. I found it hard to feel hugely guilty about not cancelling my plans and rushing immediately to her aid, when we are hardly even friends... I am enjoying getting to know her better and spending more time with her, but its all just a bit much. She wanted us to go out for a meal tonight, just the two of us. Not feeling too confident that i could stretch out a conversation with her for that long, i made some excuse about money. Guilt again though. She's latched on to me good and proper.
Jo and Dave had a really bad argument on Saturday night. I'm ashamed to say that it makes me feel better about myself that they did. Sometimes Jo is so bloody perfect with her brazillian waxes, stylish clothes and grown up relationship, that i want to explode with jealous rage... But it certainly seems as though the Jo and Dave bubble is about to burst, from what she told me on Sunday night. I hope they work it out though. They are a good couple. And i do love Jo, beyond the life-envy...
In less bitchy-moany news- The Boy is coming down on Tuesday! Woohoo! I can't wait.
Saturday, 8 September 2007
Sigh...
I'm going back to Keele tomorrow, to finish my hospital placement. Needless to say i'm not relishing the prospect of two more weeks living in stinking student accommodation with noone to talk to, just so i can spend eight hours a day twiddling my thumbs in the lab. I suppose it will be worth it in the end, completing my registration portfolio before i graduate will be incredibly useful in the long run... but it really has been the most poorly organised and dull work placement in the history of work placements... i'm not sure i even want to be a Biomedical Scientist anymore... (Actually, that's just laziness talking, i don't especially want to be anything that involves getting up before eleven more than one day a week...)
Really really don't want to go! I'm going to miss The Boy so much!
On the other hand, i can't wait to go back to Keele properly, to move into my tres expensive and non-stinking accommodation and to study. Slightly nervous about living with people i don't know again, i thought i'd left all that behind in my fresher year... one major disadvantage to binning your course after the first
year and starting a new one is the leaving you a year behind your friends and housemates and thus consigning yourself to a final year of lonesomeness when they so rudely graduate... but never mind. At least Joey and Roo and Katie Bear will be around to play with. I think bullying Roo into doing her PGCE this year was the smartest thing i ever did!
I went shopping on Thursday and buggered up my budget plan yet again... I can't help myself, its just ridiculous. This summer, i was supposed to have saved £1000 and paid off my overdraft. In actual fact, i will barely have paid off my overdraft, and only if i manage to stick to the rather frugal budget i have had to enforce for the next fortnight after said shopping trip... and there is only about £500 in my ISA now. I am trying to console my self with the fact that i haven't entirely frittered my hopsital wages... i have had to pay for four weeks of temporary accommodation, and been on two holidays this summer. So with the saving and the overdraft paying, i haven't done so badly... Oh well. You're only young once...
Also... i was this week informed that the Inland Revenue owe me £350! So that kind of eases the pressure. Though i don't hold out much hope for receiving said funds for a least 6 years... and since things are going to be tight next year on account of my super posh accommodation, i shouldn't really use it as an excuse to splurge, i should stick to my budgetting and keep it for emergencies.
Anyway, I bought a sort of 50s stylee tea dress, which will look awesome with a big slouchy cardigan and skinny jeans in the autumn, and some books in the Waterstones 3 for 2 offer, as i figured they will give me something to do while i'm rotting away in Hawthornes Hall for the next fortnight (have i mentioned i'm not looking forward to going?). One of which I am currently reading- Queen Camilla by Sue Townsend, which is the sequel to her book The Queen and I. Its very funny, and i've nearly finished it.
Argh i really don't want to go! I can't get rid of this awful niggly feeling. I don't want to leave my boy.
I shall keep telling myself its going to be fine. I have my books to read, my laptop, portfolio exercises to work on, i can start going to the gym again (finally...) and Joey and Ann are around for social eventage for a
couple of nights. There's even M,
if i get desperate... It'll be fine. Fine fine fine.
*sob*
I'm feeling awfully broody at the moment. I think its a combination of seeing the film Knocked Up the other day, and the preponderance of news stories on the current "fertility crisis" that seem to be around at the moment. It makes me impatient to start making babies. Even though i want to work and travel and suchlike. I've always had a nasty feeling that i won't be able to conceive. It sounds strange and highly premature, but its true. Perhaps just a figment of my self pitying imagination eh.
My skin is really nice at the moment.
Really really don't want to go! I'm going to miss The Boy so much!
On the other hand, i can't wait to go back to Keele properly, to move into my tres expensive and non-stinking accommodation and to study. Slightly nervous about living with people i don't know again, i thought i'd left all that behind in my fresher year... one major disadvantage to binning your course after the first
year and starting a new one is the leaving you a year behind your friends and housemates and thus consigning yourself to a final year of lonesomeness when they so rudely graduate... but never mind. At least Joey and Roo and Katie Bear will be around to play with. I think bullying Roo into doing her PGCE this year was the smartest thing i ever did!
I went shopping on Thursday and buggered up my budget plan yet again... I can't help myself, its just ridiculous. This summer, i was supposed to have saved £1000 and paid off my overdraft. In actual fact, i will barely have paid off my overdraft, and only if i manage to stick to the rather frugal budget i have had to enforce for the next fortnight after said shopping trip... and there is only about £500 in my ISA now. I am trying to console my self with the fact that i haven't entirely frittered my hopsital wages... i have had to pay for four weeks of temporary accommodation, and been on two holidays this summer. So with the saving and the overdraft paying, i haven't done so badly... Oh well. You're only young once...
Also... i was this week informed that the Inland Revenue owe me £350! So that kind of eases the pressure. Though i don't hold out much hope for receiving said funds for a least 6 years... and since things are going to be tight next year on account of my super posh accommodation, i shouldn't really use it as an excuse to splurge, i should stick to my budgetting and keep it for emergencies.
Anyway, I bought a sort of 50s stylee tea dress, which will look awesome with a big slouchy cardigan and skinny jeans in the autumn, and some books in the Waterstones 3 for 2 offer, as i figured they will give me something to do while i'm rotting away in Hawthornes Hall for the next fortnight (have i mentioned i'm not looking forward to going?). One of which I am currently reading- Queen Camilla by Sue Townsend, which is the sequel to her book The Queen and I. Its very funny, and i've nearly finished it.
Argh i really don't want to go! I can't get rid of this awful niggly feeling. I don't want to leave my boy.
I shall keep telling myself its going to be fine. I have my books to read, my laptop, portfolio exercises to work on, i can start going to the gym again (finally...) and Joey and Ann are around for social eventage for a
couple of nights. There's even M,
if i get desperate... It'll be fine. Fine fine fine.
*sob*
I'm feeling awfully broody at the moment. I think its a combination of seeing the film Knocked Up the other day, and the preponderance of news stories on the current "fertility crisis" that seem to be around at the moment. It makes me impatient to start making babies. Even though i want to work and travel and suchlike. I've always had a nasty feeling that i won't be able to conceive. It sounds strange and highly premature, but its true. Perhaps just a figment of my self pitying imagination eh.
My skin is really nice at the moment.
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