Procrastination...

I should be making some kind of effort to start the introduction for my experimental project, which my superviser wants a draft of in three weeks... But the research is a bitch, and i have no motivation whatsoever to work at the moment.

I'm not feeling very well, mentally or physically. I still have the beginnings of my flu, which has neither grown into real flu nor disappeared. So i'm just in an irritating state of flu-y limbo. I also had a rather revolting stomach disturbance on Saturday night... which i'm still feeling a little delicate from. I'm ridiculously anxious at the moment, about nothing in particular. To the point where its actually painful, and no matter how deeply i breath, i can't get rid of the sicky achey feeling in my chest and throat. I couldn't sleep last night because of it, so was completely shattered this morning, and only vaguely managed to tune into my lecture. Which is a shame because i like that module.

I'm in sort of a "hate my face/ body/ wardrobe" mode again as well.

Hopefully once i've seen the boy i will feel better. He is off work ill again today with some kind of throat problem. I do worry about him losing his job again. He can be so lax sometimes. I am contemplating going home instead of him coming here. If i'd have gone after my lecture we would have had an extra day and night together, and i could have "nursed" him back to health. As it is, i have been my usual indecisive self, and so even if i stopped dithering and went now, by the time i got home it would be bedtime, and we would only have an extra couple of hours together. Sigh. I am so looking forward to him being here, but it is tainted in a way, by the fact that he will only be here a day, and it will fly by. I don't know when i'll be seeing him again after Wednesday : ( I'm dreading that part.

Am i pathetic?

OK, i am going to do work now.