A little while ago, someone directed a comment at me, which has been playing on my mind ever since.
It went along the lines of "depression is a disease that you never recover from, get back on the medication"
For as long as i can remember i have been unhappy. My parents both abused me, emotionally and to a certain extent physically, at various points throughout my youth. It never really registered that they had done any lasting damage. I've always seen myself as just not a very cheerful person. Some people are cheerful a lot, and can see the bright side of life. Some people get angry and stressed and dwell on the negative points of life. That's just the way it is.
The thing about negativity is that it accumulates. Irrational and derogatory thought patterns are easily fallen into. And once you're in that place, you become vulnerable to all the mind-fuck the world cares to throw at you.
About two years ago, i came to realise that the state my head was in at that point in time, life was literally not worth living. Bullying is unpleasant from anyone. But the bully in your head is the most vicious and relentless of all, and mine was working overtime. I had always thought that depression was something other people had. I thought that if i told someone i was depressed, they would laugh in my face and tell me to stop being a silly little girl, that only grown-ups had depression. To a certain extent, i still fear that reaction, particularly from my parents.
In reality, noone laughed in my face. Doctors were helpful and sympathetic and friends were concerned and upset. I took the antidepressants and i felt better. My little pool of serotonin filled up again. After about a year, i stopped taking them.
Some people think antidepressants are dangerous, addictive, mind altering drugs, which have no place in the effective treatment of mental illness. Other people apparently think they are an emotional crutch.
I think antidepressants have a perfectly valid role in the treatment of mental illness, and their use shouldn't be discounted because of public misconception and hysteria. But i don't think that a diagnosis of depression should necessitate a lifelong prescription. This notion that depression can never be recovered from seems incredibly defeatist to me.
I for one certainly don't intend to spend the rest of my life being a slave to my serotonin levels. The thought patterns, they still need work. But its do-able. Sitting back and saying "oh well i'm depressed now, thats it forever, pass me the pills". Just seems a little strange to me.
I know i don't make much sense. Feel free to contradict.
3 comments:
depression is something that tends to cycle. the difference between people with depression and those without is that the lows are much lower and the higher crests are also much lower.
there are some people who can be treated with antidepressants and go off of them and live normal lives. somehow they're lucky enough to have the chemicals get balanced.
however, there are people like me who will be on medication for life because of the chemical imbalance created by both trauma and thyroid underfunctioning. body chemistry is a very mysterious thing to me.
if you're feeling depressed, then finding a medication that works for you might be a good thing. there are some out there that don't have the same effects on libido that ssri's have. there's also the option of therapy (which is actually recommended even with medication) because it helps to counteract the negative thinking patterns that depressed people get into.
only you can decide what is best for you. i can only suggest and talk about my experience.
I'm pretty ok at the moment. But thank you :)
I tip my virtual hat to your honesty and frankness. Well done and remember - ever onwards and upwards ;)
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